I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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