Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize