dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize