): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
