Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
