Is it normal to miss your booty call?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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