You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
