Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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