what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
