let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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