I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
