Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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