in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't turn off my feet"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
