Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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