She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My ATM looks so different sober.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
