things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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