Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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