So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
