As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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