Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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