hotel room ftw
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize