i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
