I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize