we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
