Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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