OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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