I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just wanna soil my oats bro
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
