super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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