I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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