you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize