He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
