Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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