whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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