I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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