she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
