I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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