There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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