She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
