If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
