oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
