Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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