I cockslap morals
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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