So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
