how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
