so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
