Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My life is pants optional.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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