Already got asked if we're dating
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
