____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
