Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize