...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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