Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize