You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
