How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
