Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize