Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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