South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
