remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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