Im at strip club and am horny
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
