We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
