4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
