My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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